BEHS 086 – Duchess

I used to get frustrated when I read a book and the ending left me hanging. No happy ending, no end to the mystery, problems left unsolved. Horses have helped me to realize that sometimes there is no perfect, storybook ending to our lives. If you work with rescue horses long enough, some day you will have one enter your life with the apparent purpose of simply keeping you humble. You may think you are pretty good at working with horses, and then WHAM! That horse makes you feel like you know nothing.

Duchess is such a horse. This little pony entered my life in March, 2005. I have written ad nauseum about the futile attempts to halter her, gentle her, even one long and very exhausting attempt to get her to give to pressure, this past summer. Her capacity to give to humans is very limited. After three years and six months, I am able to pet her face when she eats out of a bucket I am holding - essentially where we started, a couple days after she arrived. She has spent the time in my place in a carefully structured environment, for her safety. Her little pasture opened into the enclosed barn yard, which led to the barn. She could be herded from stall to barn yard to pasture and back again, and was very familiar and comfortable in her little "world".

During her stay, she gave birth to an adorable little filly, Sassy. I worked hard with Sassy, to prevent Duchess teaching her that humans were to be feared, and she was weaned and removed from Duchess pretty quickly, to prevent that very thing from happening. I had accepted that Duchess would probably always remain with me, and made jokes about us growing old together.

Then a special person entered Duchess' life. Heather wanted a companion for her adopted Cisco. She traveled from Smithville to Navasota to see Duchess, and I showed her what Duchess was able to do with me. Heather E. has endless patience and the willingness to accept Duchess for whatever Duchess was able to offer her.

Yesterday we both loaded Duchess in my trailer. We parked the trailer at the end of the barn aisle, tied the gates and doors so that Duchess couldn't push past them, and slowly herded her into the trailer. I cried a good part of the drive there and much of the drive home. I worried that Duchess would be scared and somehow get hurt, or worse, get loose and be lost forever. I worried that she and Cisco wouldn't get along. But most of all, I cried once again for the little pony who has missed so much by fearing so much in her life.

She will always remain a mystery to me - why she is so fearful, what could I have done differently to help her overcome that fear - and I know there will never be answers to my questions. Just like life, Duchess is what she is, and we have to accept that, and work with what she can and does offer to us. May Heather and Duchess continue their journey and grow together.